It turns out that being eternally bound to someone can have its ups and downs and that makes these funny tweets way too real.

Text - The Pan-Midwesterner Retweeted Sinistral Sasquatch @sinistroll Jan 3 WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey 13 45 138