For the sake of humanity itself we really hope this guy is some kind of comedy/creative writer, and that this DIDN'T actually occur. 

Text - iPod 6:26 PM Tweet Josh Raby @JoshRaby 16h At this point I have ordered a chicken sandwich I do not want and an apple pie I do not want and no milkshake and I've been here 22 minutes 535 950 Josh Raby @JoshRaby "Can you give me my total" I say because honestly I don't know if I want to understand his marriage or if I even could and I just want to go 16h t466 684 Josh Raby @JoshRaby 15h So he says "your total is 8 HOLD ON my wife is here and she wants me to tell you she will sell you 2 app