hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real like there's no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic true story fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic russia's queen has him come stay at the pala

hamtastrophe it's sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real like there's no non-fucked up part of rasputin's existence rollinbylimpbizkit did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia's greatest love machine the-itchy-bitchy-spider basic true story fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he's a prophet or a saint because he's got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic russia's queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son's haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus and they allegedly become lovers probably 'cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now allegedly belongs to then the worst assassins in the history of as- sassinations try to assassinate him because he has too much power over the royal family and it's helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide but sen they get the dose wrong and he doesn't die and then he drinks three glasses of wine which are also poisoned and he doesn't die so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn't looking and he doesn't die but they think hes dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he's gone home to hide the crime and when they come back he gets up and attacks them so they stab him in the side with a knife and he doesn't die and then he frees himself and runs outside so they shoot him a few times more including in the forehead and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river and he doesn't go into the water so his body is found on the ice the next day and get this he died f hypothermia Source hamtastrophe One of the first Russian Chaos Agents Rasputin Mememore...