It turns out that being eternally bound to someone can have its ups and downs and that makes these funny tweets way too real.

Text - Bear Knee Sanders Retweeted Eyes Wide Butt @eyeswidebutt 30 Jul 2015 [about to sex] wife: can we do it one time w/out- wheeling gong out of closet* me: w/o the sex gong? but how will we know when to begin? 18 11.4K 3.1K