It turns out that being eternally bound to someone can have its ups and downs and that makes these funny tweets way too real.

Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: I'm so ready for the kids' Christmas pageant. Wife: *confiscates my flask* Me: OK, now I'm ready. Wife: *confiscates my backup flask* RETWEETS LIKES 286 2,708 10:58 AM-22 Dec 2016 27 286 2.7K